Empty Moments.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting 
Your heart's longing.


It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
For love, for your dream, 
For the adventure of being alive.


It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life's betrayals,
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.


I want to know if you can sit with pain, 
Mine or your own,
Without moving 
To hide it or fade it or fix it.


I want to know if you can be with joy, 
Mine or your own,
If you can dance with wildness 
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes 
Without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, 
or to remember the limitations of being human.


It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. 
I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.


I want to know if you can see beauty 
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life 
From its presence.


I want to know if you can live with failure, 
Yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 
"Yes!"


It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone, 
And do what needs to be done for the children.


It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand 
In the center of the fire with me 
And not shrink back.


It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you 
From the inside 
When all else falls away.


I want to know if you can be alone 
With yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep 
In the empty moments.


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Revolution,boy?

Some say that I am a love poet
I’m definitely not an over-analytical poet
Certainly not a political poet
Not a fight the power poet
Not a 'talk you to death for an hour' poet
But don’t you dare say I’m not a revolutionary poet
I don’t make conspiracy theories
Or talk about the government
But to me revolution
Is just evolution with an R
And I am steadily changing,growing and fighting

But if by revolutionary you mean talking in circles
and circumventing responsibility,
then by all means you are the spokesperson

I ain’t buying the fight the power act
love, life, and loss
that’s what causes a creative commotion in my brain
when pain permeates my person and pounds my peace
it is the real revolutions, revelations, and resolutions
that relieve my worries, weary, and woes.

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Revolution backwards. n-o-i-t-u-L-O-V-E-r.

Love resides everywhere.

Untitled.

Their fake smiles surround me.
I’m on the outside looking in.
Because I didn’t take wear the right clothes.
Well I think its time to spread these wings.


You never helped me.
You never listened to what I had to say. 
You never made me feel good.
You made me feel like dirt.
But still I call you my friend.


I’m going through this with you.
But it feels as though I’m alone.
I can’t call you when you're leaving.
Your bags all packed.
Because you've found a better more perfect family.
So as tears flood my eyes.
They pour down my cheeks leaving puddles on the floor.
Barely being able to speak.
I reach for the phone.
Dialing your number.
Trying to reach someone to tell me everything will be fine.
Reaching out before I die.
Pulling that trigger with the barrel pressed against my head.


I finally get you.
And yet you tell me just to go to bed.
Pain and hurt rushes over.
I’m alone.
There’s no one here to talk me to sleep. 
No one to help me through.
I’m stuck here in hell.
To never return back.
Can’t you just lend a hand.
Someone please help.


As I think that it is over.
I’ve watched betrayal from others.
And I don’t want you do to the same.
Finding a more perfect and better friend.
Because I was there for you when you needed one.
Now I’m dying but your not here.
I need you to be here.
Beside me.
Making me feel better.
But you are here. NOT.
Because I’m your old friend.
Im sorry that I didn’t wear the right clothes.
I didn’t have the any.
I’m not sorry that I was your friend.
You were like a savior.
But now you won’t even open up your arms to me.


I feel hopeless.
This trigger is pressed even harder to my skull.
Just.Pull.The.Trigger.
This house has come crashing down.
The lies.
The tears.
The screams.
Why won’t you just say 3 little words.
Everything.
Is.
Ok.


This is my last cry for help.
Just reach out.
As I’m reaching out now.
I’ve given you all the signs.
And you know too.
But you won’t reach for me.
I’m going.
Slowly I’m going further to that black hole.
Why can’t you just help? 


Goodbye. 


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No Problem. Dependence is not worth.

They don't understand.

I'm confused about life
It seems like no one understands me
Especially my parents
They try to run my life
But they don't understand
My life's my own to run
They can't run it
It seems we live in two different worlds
At two different times
They should know no matter how much
They try to control my life
I'll always rebel
I don't care about the punishment
Because they can't take away my
Freedom, hope, dreams, memories 
And people I love ever.
I wish they would understand
They never had to go through
The problems us teens are going through now
They would never understand
Back then there weren't so many problems 
Us teens face now
They just simply don't understand
Us teens


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P.S. We don't hate parents(normally). Just that we 
        feel that they don't understand us.

Are bunnies jealous?

He loves her.
She loves him.
Like bunnies.
Hopping well.

The others.
The distractions.
Everything needed.
To spoil it.

From the others.
There is one other.
He is fair and cute.
And he's got a crush.

She likes him,he thinks.
He is jealous.
The other likes her for sure.
Its in his eyes.

Now the other loves someone.
She is low.
She is sad.
She is angry.

She wonders how?
Why? Everything!
Why does she care?
Now he will have a question.

He keeps her secure,
Why can't she?

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Feelings cannot be trapped even
by the fishnets. Clean sheet.

Smoke up aerobics? Anyone?

Roll it. Light it. Breathe together now. Inhale. Hold it. And three,and two,and one. Exhale. Control your cough. Big happy smiles, boys! Hold your tummies in. OK, all together now... Breathe deep. Inhale. Hold it. And three,and two,and one. Exhale. Stop that cough. Big smiles. Be happy, boys! Release that tension. Now you've done it! You're stoned,on dope. OK, let's take it from the top. Chests out. Tummies in. Breathe together now. Inhale. Hold it. And three,and two,and one! X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O-X I found satisfaction in a ball of hashish. Shouldn't you do the same?

He's not okay!

He wears a smile
Puts on a mask 
Just to see how long he'll last. 

He's not okay!
Will he ever be?
He doesn't cry,he doesn't weep
Just spends countless hours losing sleep

Leave him alone he can help himself
By placing all his feelings on a dirty shelf. 
He's introverted. 
Wants all his feelings to be deserted. 

Keep your help he doesn't want it. 
He knows he's not wanted. 
So leave him to cry and bleed. 
It doesn't matter,he doesn't want your sympathy!

He likes being alone
No sins to atone 
He knows it's no help to pray. 
He knows all too well he's not okay.


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Isolation is always a very good thing.

Housewife.

Here lies a poor woman who was always tired,

She lived in a house where help wasn't hired:

Her last words on earth were: 'Dear friends, I am going

To where there's no cooking, or washing, or sewing,

For everything there is exact to my wishes,

For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes.

I'll be where loud anthems will always be ringing,

But having no voice I'll be quiet off the singing.

Don't mourn for me now, don't mourn for me never,

I am going to do nothing for ever and ever.

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No man can ever be a housewife. That's all. Women Empowerment ftw.

I wish you could.

I wear humor like a mask
Every joke and story told
Hides the inner me.

I wear my sarcasm like a shield
Every jibe and verbal thrust
Protects the inner me.

I weak my charm like a cloak
Every vivacious smile and word
Camouflages the inner me.

I wear bravery like a sword
Every swagger and proud retort
Guards the inner me.

My inner me loves peace and quiet
And analyze things for hours
My inner me loves to weep sadly
And observe the world like wonder.

It is easily hurt by callous comments
And devastated by cruelty and some moments
Its is soft as thistle and elusive as waves
And needs to be buffered by others.

I never drop my outer defences
And let you glimpse the inner me
You won't understand how gifted you are
Because you don't see the inner me.

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Advice for over-smart people : Practice what you preach. If you expect something
from someone also remember that they expect some things from you.
After all. Karma is a bitch. What you do,comes back to you like a
boomerang. Open your doors for knowledge.

Abhimaan.

Its just that I want someone special to read this. This is my second Marathi poetry. Short and Sweet stuff :P


Tuzha te niraagas bolna,Mala khoop avadta
Chaar Chaughaatahi tuzha veglepan,agdi aapsukach jaanavta.

Tujhya dolyat disun yeto,mazhyavarcha atonaat vishvas
Khalkhalun hasna tuzha kharach vatta jhakaas.

Tuzha to mishkilpana aani te khodya karna
Jara jari raagavlo mi tari,chatkan dolyat paani kaadhna.

Mazha pratyek shabd,tu kiti sahajpane japtes
Saang bara hi kala kontya shaalet shiktes?

Tulahi fulapramane japnyacha,mi aatokaat prayatn kartoy
Abhimaan vaat to mala maazha ki mi tujhyavar prem kartoy.

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P.S. I love you.

Haa! Its tough. Tried my best.

I don't think.. Therefore I am.

No uttered words the poet speaks,
No skies of golden hue,
No tales of unrequited love,
They were lost when I lost you.

No words to caress his lover's heart,
And gone the dreams he swore they'd live,
But alone within the poet dwells,
No uttered words... none left to give.

No music swells within his soul,
Just silence surrounds his heart,
And the solitude engulfs his world,
When the poet and love depart.

And lost the beauty he once could see,
And the glory he saw each day,
Now the poet pens his last farewell,
No more love can he convey.

But what's the poet's soul to do?
To release the love he feels,
For he'll surely die and wither,
If that love he now conceals.

He must hide the hurt and heartache,
Just smile to friends and say,
I'm fine... love doesn't matters,
And deceive them all that way.

For a different face he'll show them,
To barricade his pain,
To hide his shattered spirit,
From the love he ne'er attained.

But the pain within shall kill him,
Not soon but through the years,
For the poet knows his anguish,
When alone he sheds her tears.

And at night when dreams come calling,
With her voice, her smile... her eyes,
A single tear upon his cheek,
Hides the pain his heart belies.

For he loved her soul completely,
Was consumed by beauty's bliss,
Had shared her inner thoughts,
But never shared her kiss.

And when death comes to the poet,
And to heaven his soul ascends,
He'll smile before her beauty,
For eternity never ends.

So will the poet regret the life,
Which stole away the years,
No he'll simply recall the love,
He felt in all her tears.

And when his love has joined him,
And they meet in heaven's bliss,
Their regrets will quickly perish,
As they kiss their first sweet kiss.

And the words will quickly flow again,
From my thoughts, to hand... to book,
I'll not write of God or Heaven,
When upon your face I look.

So the poet's again a poet,
For the words were always there,
I just didn't see much beauty,
When your love I couldn't share.

So their souls will find the love at last,
That in life they could not seek,
And the poet soon finds the words in you...
The words... he could not speak.

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Gaming is good with CPU,not with your lover. It may be
harmful if he becomes your mirror image.

Title Courtesy - Godmother.

Butcher.

Who am I?

I am the Other, the other brother

The brother you would rather forget

I am the shadow shivering

Under the bridge

When winter comes;

The child selling cheap pens

In traffic jams.

I am the one you make fun of

For eating with my hands

For not speaking with your accents

I am the Other.

I am the one who does your slave work

I am the one who cleans up after your party

I am the one who pays with my blood
For your Eternal Frontiers.

Laugh at me, snub me
For I am not like you.

But some day I shall rise,

I, the Other.

And
I am, I will be
The stuff of your
Nightmares.

Fear me Fucker,I am the Other.

The other Brother. 

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The sin of silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.- Sir Lincoln.

Be a person of silence till you are not offended. - PISSALL.

Take the hand of wisdom's friend 
What is my name? 

REVOLUTION!! 

I'll make him an offer he cannot refuse.

The Don and their organisations are no more or less.
Crooked than the faceless organised crime of.
Governments throughout the ages.

Infact he did say that a lawyer with a briefcase.
Can steal more than a hundred hoods with guns.

And the law is designed to protect property.
So those who haven't any property fall through the.
Net and are ususally given a rough deal, by the same law.
Which is supposed to be equal-

To contrast this built in injustice.
Its only natural that a family will look after their own.
More effectively and more fairly than any.
Organised societys system.

I've met them all-bent cops, crooked lawyers, you name it.
Yet I'm happily surprised to say there is honestly more honor, loyalty and fairness.
Among the criminal classes and gangsters than there is.
In any 'so called' democracy-which is nothing more than a carefully.
Crafted facade of uber-criminality disguised as.
Society, uneven distribution of wealth.
Purposefully crafted to maintain the imbalance of power.
By a legal system that's utter shite.


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P.S. I ain't no band leader.

Sorry Sant Tukaram.

This is a joke that I cracked once unknowingly when I was stoned.

So,There is Dada Kondke(A Marathi Film Industry Idol). He was always known for his nastiness. So this is what came out of me.

He was directing a movie in tribute to Sant Tukaram and Sant Chokhoba. He was done with it and then was the time for deciding the name. He decided something and sent the movie to the sensor board. They saw the movie as always thinking that there could be some nasty spot in the movie. They saw the movie and confirmed it. Then they asked Dada the name of the movie. They rejected the movie as soon as they heard the name.

The name was

"Chokha mhane Tuka maazha,Tuka mhane Chokha maazha"

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For Non-Maharashtrians - The name means "Chokha says Tuka is mine,Tuka says Chokha is mine." But here,the funny thing is that in Marathi "Chokha" means "Suck". So according to the arrangement of the words,it says "Chokha says Tuka is mine,Tuka says 'suck my dick'."

P.S. If you ever have heard this shit ago,you'd say I copy it and shit. But then,remember,I don't claim it my own joke.

A lover's Life.

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life God will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making God attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.


The above passage is very important to me it is a 'way marker' for me telling me 'go this way follow the way of wisdom!'


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P.S. It's tough bro :) 

Karma is a bitch?

Karma is not fate, for humans act with free will creating their own destiny. According to the Vedas, if one sows goodness, they will reap goodness; if one sows evil they will reap evil. Karma refers to the totality of our actions and their concomitant reactions in this and previous lives, all of which determines our future” - External Source :P

So, Karma is about cause and effect, plus and minus, yin and yang, good and bad, right and wrong and all other such antonyms you can think of, but with a common thread of balancing out.

Its pretty difficult to believe isn’t it? Karma, in modern day analogy is like a Bank Account – If you do something good, your karmic bank account will increase by a certain value. If you do something bad, it will reduce by a certain value! You cannot check your bank balance – but it is all accounted for, at the end of your life. Or perhaps multiple lives.

Religion has tried to justify the concept of Karma by introducing rebirths – if you are born as a politician in this birth, you will most probably be born as a common man in your next birth! So, the concept of eternal justice is somehow upheld!

But why consider multiple births? Can’t we see the existence of Karma in one birth itself? If a person keeps cheating others, after a point of time no one trusts them. If you disrespect your parents, you will be disrespected by your kids. There can be many such examples.

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P.S. Karma is a babe in total control of herself.

Treat people as you like to be treated,Karma's only a Bitch ,if you are :) - Pugna :) 

Sticks and Stones may break my bones,but words? :|

Betrayed? Guilty? Miserable? Broken hearted? After a break up, there is so much emotion at risk. It is a basic part of life. Certainly, no affairs are the same. Affairs are like shoes. Some are long lasting as others are doomed to fail. People also deal differently with disappointments. To effectively manage the harsh impact of break up, there are healthy ways that one can opt to do and here are some of them:

Cry And Release Negativity. No relationship is perfect. People often find it difficult to accept a failed relationship. It is okay to cry. Crying is not bad, healthy even. It can take away negative sensations and can greatly improve one's mood. When you get hurt, cry. If you are a robot, you will certainly not cry. But you are not a robot. You're human being. Imagine a kid running a race. As he was turning down the street, he slipped and hurt his knees. He cried for a few minutes. But after realizing what happened, he carefully wiped his tears, stood and completed the race. The race is like relationships. One can slip down the road, get hurt and move on.

Skip The Drama And Don't Blame. If there are no perfect relationships, there are no perfect people either. Everyone can commit mistakes in one way or another. So don't blame your partner's weaknesses if you do not want to be accountable of yours. If the relationship is malfunctioning and the issues are insolvable, check the best options. You wouldn't want to stay if you are just forced to, right?

Accept The Situation. Before you can really move on, you have to learn the truth of the situation. The truth is, the two of you parted ways. It may take a moment, but let it sink in. Know that this chapter of your life is closed. As not to make matters difficult, avoid fantasizing that your ex will crawl back to your arms and everything will be okay again. Just remember that a phase of your life has closed but not your life per say. You still have a chance to move on. Lingering to an old love can only make things complex for you and your ex.

Learn From The Experience. Experience is the best educator. Let the things that happened to you be a life lesson. In the process, learn to forgive yourself and your ex. You wouldn't want to commit the same mistakes twice. Nonetheless, don't judge people just because you've been hurt. If you've been betrayed, don't imagine that all people will betray you. Once you forgive, deduct all the negative vibes. That way, you can move on and open a new chapter in life.

Surround Yourself With Positive People And Things. Hold firm to your faith and always have hope. To stay positive you can read motivational books and inspirational quotes online or from acquaintances. Listen to good music. Try to avoid endeavors that will remind you of the sorrow and pain. Keeping a healthy state of mind will help you stay sane mainly in these trying times. Also, do not surround yourself with bad influence individuals who will draw you to try drugs, alcohol and other vices. They are not the people you should go with if you want to move on with life productively.

Being in love is taking risks. Problems are inevitable. It helps make the relationship stronger. Then again, if situation arise when problems are already impractical to solve, accept that fact. Before you can move on you have to close this chapter of your life first. It can be hard but not impossible. Good luck!

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Don't dare to love,because God Hates us All!! Being Emo is SHIT, SHIT AND ONLY SHIT! Rather,beat the shit out of that asshole. :) Take care fellas! 

Corruption = Chutiyagiri

Corruption is today a world-wide phenomenon. In our own country some people in high positions have been charged for it.

A corrupt person is termed immoral, dishonest and unscrupulous in his dealings. His disregard for honesty, righteousness and truth results in his alienation from society. He is treated with contempt. But as erosion of values leads to decadence, remedies for the social malaise remain elusive, and so no amount of contempt can eradicate corruption which is a symptom of decadence.

Corruption is the most virulent when crises everywhere threaten the very existence of the society and the faith in life is shaken. It has always been there like tie leech, but when the system grows weaker and the boat flounders, it gets bolder and drains its victims of the last drops of their blood.

The older the system the weaker it grows and fails to solve the riddles of life that grows more complex every day. So men lose faith in it and let it drift down. At this point corruption takes over and plunges the entire society. After Second World War the old system with all its values was left in a shambles. The crippling effects of the war, the recession and depression, and uncertainties in a faithless world of maimed and moribund encouraged cynicism in a section of the population.

This section included the government officials dealing in essential commodities. They found the post-war conditions ideal for fishing in troubled waters and getting richer. They formed a sort of vicious circle in which moral values and honest intentions no longer held valid. The flourishing black market in essential commodities, adulteration of even baby- food, bribery, fraud and economic, political and administrative manipulations with an eye on earning profits has brought untold misery to the people.

One would say the corruption in India has an ancient lineage; it is sanctified by tradition. The author of the Arthasastra made some remarks on government officials of his time which are relevant even today: "Just as it is impossible not to taste the honey or the poison that finds itself at the tip of the tongue, so it is impossible for a government servant not to eat up at least a bit of the king's revenue." These in the post­war world became only bolder while eating up government money and accepting bribes. (Sanskrit textbook)

Today, when India is free, these officials representing all government departments are very close to the most corrupt businessmen who are too unscrupulous to let any opportunity of amassing profits slip. This collusion broadens the base of the vicious circle and corruption spreads 'like wild fire to engulf the entire society. The political and social guardians depend only too much on the richer communities and they look indulgently on while these communities hold the entire society and the government to ransom.

Corruption starts at the top and percolates down to the whole society. Such corruption cannot be confined to the towns alone. It is as widespread in the villages where the dishonest officials and the traders carry the germs of the disease. The tyranny of confusion and price rules the land and the people are helpless victims of corruption everywhere.

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That does not mean I was clean the whole of my life. :-)

Corruption cannot be cleaned.

Silly but fun. :)

This is a quiz that I had got. Its like you have to use your favorite artist's track titles to answer the questions. My favorite artist of all time is the Thrash/Groove Metal band Pantera.

Are you male or female?: Medicine Man

Describe yourself: Regular People

How do you feel?: Goddamn Electric

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?: Planet Caravan

Describe where you currently live: Cemetery Gates

Your favourite form of transportation: Walk

You and your best friends are: Cowboys from Hell

Your favourite color is: I am the night(I mean Black)

What's the weather like: Immortally Insane

Favourite time of the day: It makes them disappear(I mean night)

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?: Five Minutes Alone

What is life to you: Psycho Holiday

Your current relationship: Slaughtered

Breaking Up: Over and Out

Looking for: Strength beyond Strength

Wouldn't mind: Shedding skin

Your love: Daughters of the queen

Your fear: This love

The best advice you have to give: Use my third arm

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Widowmaker

Thought for the Day: Yesterday Don't mean shit

My motto: Rise

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You should try it as well :-) Not so easy as you think ;-)

Anyway,who gives a f.

One Stone.

So, Nobody so far knows this story..

There's this guy.. Whose name,nobody knows.! Strange.. There's a reason behind it.. This fellow had just one testicle,unlike other men! :O
His village where he resided was very small.. with a population of around 200-300 people. Everyone knew each other.. A happy village inshort.
As this guy had only one testicle,everybody used to call him as "One Stone". (Bwahahahahaha :P). It was like "Hey One Stone! Whaddup??","Where have you been One stone?!". Embarrassment was what he had!! He had been through that since childhood! Disgrace! Sad! Tormented by the name "One Stone",he made an announcement in the village.. "If anybody calls me One Stone,it won't be good fellas!!!"

People who were aware of the announcement never dared back to call him One Stone. His face had emoted it all!! But then there were people who were not aware too! A pair of sisters were at the city for an outing on which the accouncement took place! Their names were hopefully known. :P They were Lilbird and Delibird. So damn it! They were back to the village and Lilbird went home straight and Delibird was off to the tailor. Delibird was going to meet her boyfriend,Lilbird did not know about that.! There was some problem at their place and Lilbird went searching for
Delibird to the tailor. Delibird wasn't on the way,nor at the tailor. Where could she be?

Lilbird was way back home then.. She met the guy which is the hero of our story! She called out "Hey One Stone,Did you see Delibird around??"

Now....... She was in serious trouble! One Stone said, "You whore! You bitch! I'll take your case now! How dare you call me One Stone??" Surprised by the reaction,she was stunned! He dragged her to the forest by her hair! He beat her,sodomized her,raped her,fucked her and did all evil. He killed her and drank her blood.! He brought the dead body to the village as a message of what he could do!! "Here you go people! Don't dare do it!"

Now Delibird could not find Lilbird. Ahh!! Pain in the ass now.! One Stone by then had burried the dead body.. Delibird met One Stone while he was on his way back home.. She said "Hey One Stone,Have you seen Lilbird around here??". He was silent for a second. His eyes red with anger!! He did the same with her.! He dragged her to the forest by her hair! He beat her,sodomized her,raped her,fucked her and did all evil. He tried to kill her. He was not able to.
Nothing was helping him! He tried and tried and tried and FUCK! Bhenchod! He gave up. ONE STONE GAVE UP!! He could not do it!! He asked himself,Why??!!

Nobody had an answer except for me..


"One stone can never kill two birds"


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Please don't be confused. You can use anything to hit me :P

The Art Of Kissing And Why You Should Kiss, Too. :-*

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at our respective ADDA(wherever it may be) , lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?

Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey" :P . The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".)
I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.

ATTENTION: If bad breath (yours or your partner's) makes you uncomfortable kissing, you need The Bad Breath Report. LOL.

Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!".

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.

Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?

Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan. ;-)

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.

Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of poison. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes.

(Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")

Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.

Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman.
I do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll look like something else.
Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; I feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me. :P

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.

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Zeenat Aman is hot. Deal with it :)

My take on how to apologize.

So,We all do things that we’re later sorry for having done. Sometimes the things we say or do can end up hurting the ones we love. When we realize we have done something to hurt or upset someone, the right thing to do is apologize. It's not easy to swallow your pride, and it can be especially hard to do after an argument when you feel you're not the only one to blame. Yet, it is definitely the right thing to do in order to manage your relationships wisely. Here are some ways to say sorry to the ones you love.


1.) Identify the problem. In order to tell someone you’re sorry, you have to know what you’re apologizing for. If you know what you did, you should give a sincere apology. If you’re not sure exactly what the problem is, speak to the person you hurt or offended. Talk about it to see where things went wrong. You have to know what the exact problem is so you can give a specific apology.

2.) Accept responsibility for whatever it is that you did that hurt your loved one. Tell whoever else is involved that you know you were wrong. Affirm that you’re sorry for your actions. Assure him that you won’t make the same mistake again. You can also ask him if there is anything else you can do to make the situation better.

3.) Show him/her that you’re truly sorry. An apology is more than just words. Your actions should also reflect the sincerity of your apology. You can’t repeat the same mistakes that you did to hurt your loved ones in the first place. If you continue to do the same things, he/she will know that your apology wasn’t real. You have to show him/her that you are willing to change any wrong behaviors that caused the problem in the first place.

4.) Ask your loved one for forgiveness. If he/she sees that you are really sorry for your actions, he/she will probably forgive you. If he/she does not forgive you, accept the fact that you apologized and tried to make peace with the situation. You can only ask for forgiveness. You can’t force anyone to forgive you. Depending on the seriousness of the problem, it could be delayed forgiveness.

5.) Keep taking responsibility as you process what happened in your head. Don’t try to put your loved ones at fault for your wrong behavior. Placing the blame on others isn’t a way to say you’re sorry. If you feel someone else was equally at fault, apologize for the part you played.

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P.S. It never works. :P
Saying "sorry" won't reduce an inch of your d*ck. Cheers! :)

Funny Princess Stories explaining Metal sub-genres. (Not original)

HEAVY METAL

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and saves the princess.

POWER METAL

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and lives happily ever after with her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and ***** her.

FOLK METAL

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave…without the princess.

VIKING METAL

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, kills the princess, then leaves.

BLACK METAL

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, ***** the princess and kills her.Then he ***** the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he ***** the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and ***** it for the last time.

GRIND METAL

The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves…

DOOM METAL

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.

GOTHIC METAL

The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell’s eternity.

PROGRESSIVE METAL

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.

INDUSTRIAL METAL

The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

SPEED METAL

Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she’s been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

GLAM METAL

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

BATTLE METAL

The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

NU METAL

The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

EMO

The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, he gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny **** anyway.